# The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey Synced: [[2023_11_30]] 6:03 AM Last Highlighted: [[2019_10_04]]  ## Highlights [[2019_01_29]] (Location 96) > much of the success literature of the past 50 years was superficial. It was filled with social image consciousness, techniques and quick fixes -- with social band-aids and aspirin that addressed acute problems and sometimes even appeared to solve them temporarily -- but left the underlying chronic problems untouched to fester and resurface time and again. [[2019_01_29]] (Location 99) > all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the character ethic as the foundation of success -- things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule. Benjamin Franklin's autobiography is representative of that literature. It is, basically, the story of one man's effort to integrate certain principles and habits deep within his nature. [[2019_01_29]] (Location 143) > "Search your own heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life." [[2019_01_29]] (Location 165) > The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut. [[2019_01_29]] (Location 176) > As Emerson once put it, "What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say." [[2019_01_29]] (Location 300) > The United States today is the fruit of a Paradigm Shift. The traditional concept of government for centuries had been a monarchy, the divine right of kings. Then a different paradigm was developed -government of the people, by the people, and for the people. And a constitutional democracy was born, unleashing tremendous human energy and ingenuity, and creating a standard of living, of freedom and liberty, of influence and hope unequaled in the history of the world. [[2019_01_29]] (Location 332) > In the words of Thoreau, "For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root." [[2019_01_29]] (Location 342) > Our Paradigms are the way we "see" the world or circumstances -- not in terms of our visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving, understanding, and interpreting. Paradigms are inseparable from character. Being is seeing in the human dimension. And what we see is highly interrelated to what we are. We can't go very far to change our seeing without simultaneously changing our being, and vice versa. [[2019_01_29]] (Location 377) > As Cecil B. deMille observed of the principles contained in his monumental movie, The Ten Commandments, "It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law." [[2019_01_29]] (Location 434) > The glitter of the personality ethic, the massive appeal, is that there is some quick and easy way to achieve quality of life -- personal effectiveness and rich, deep relationships with other people -- without going through the natural process of work and growth that makes it possible [[2019_01_29]] (Location 464) > are -- by asking a question, or revealing your ignorance -- you will not learn or grow. You cannot pretend for long, for you will eventually be found out. Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education. Thoreau taught, "How [[2019_01_29]] (Location 465) > Thoreau taught, "How can we remember our ignorance, which our growth requires, when we are using our knowledge all of the time?" [[2019_02_01]] (Location 587) > Albert Einstein observed, "The significant  problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." [[2019_02_01]] (Location 601) > The Inside-Out approach says that Private Victories TM precede Public Victories TM, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves. [[2019_02_01]] (Location 636) > We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.    -- Aristotle [[2019_02_01]] (Location 639) > Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. "Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny," the maxim goes. [[2019_02_01]] (Location 658) > For our purposes, we will define a habit as the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three. [[2019_02_01]] (Location 689) > On the maturity continuum, dependence is the paradigm of you -- you take care of me; you come through for me; you didn't come through; I blame you for the results. Independence is the paradigm of I -- I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose. Interdependence is the paradigm of we -- we can do it: we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together. [[2019_02_01]] (Location 696) > If I were physically dependent -- paralyzed or disabled or limited in some physical way -- I would need you to help me. If I were emotionally dependent, my sense of worth and security would come from your opinion of me. If you didn't like me, it could be devastating. If I were intellectually dependent, I would count on you to do my thinking for me, to think through the issues and problems of my life. If I were independent, physically, I could pretty well make it on my own. Mentally, I could think my own thoughts, I could move from one level of abstraction to another. I could think creatively and analytically and organize and express my thoughts in understandable ways. Emotionally, I would be validated from within. I would be inner directed. My sense of worth would not be a function of being liked or treated well. It's easy to see that independence is much more mature than dependence. Independence is a major achievement in and of itself. But independence is not supreme. [[2019_02_01]] (Location 724) > Life is, by nature, highly interdependent.  To try to achieve maximum effectiveness through independence is like trying to play tennis with a golf club -- the tool is not suited to the reality. [[2019_02_01]] (Location 771) > Effectiveness lies in the balance -- what I call the P/PC Balance TM. P stands for production of desired results, the golden eggs. PC stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the golden eggs. [[2019_02_02]] (Location 955) > In the words of Thomas Paine, "That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price on its goods." [[2019_02_02]] (Location 979) > I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.    -- Henry David Thorea [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1006) > "Why can't you ever keep things in [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1016) > Genetic determinism basically says your grandparents did it to you. [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1023) > Environmental determinism basically says your boss is doing to you -- or your spouse, or that bratty teenager, or your economic situation, or national policies. [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1068) > Our unique human endowments lift us above the animal world. The extent to which we exercise and develop these endowments empowers us to fulfill our uniquely human potential.  Between stimulus and response is our greatest power -- the freedom to choose. [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1074) > While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won't find in most dictionaries. It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen. [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1077) > Look at the word responsibility -- "response-ability" -- the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1089) > The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.  Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values -- carefully thought about, selected and internalized values. [[2019_02_02]] (Location 1093) > As Eleanor Roosevelt observed, "No one can hurt you without your consent." In the words of Gandhi, "They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them." It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place. [[2019_02_07]] (Location 1267) > In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.    Proactive people make love a verb.  Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured. To love you must love [[2019_02_07]] (Location 1323) > Alcoholics Anonymous prayer, "Lord, give me the courage to change the things which can and ought to be changed, the serenity to accept the things which cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference." [[2019_02_07]] (Location 1391) > One of my favorite stories is one in the Old Testament, part of the fundamental fabric of the Judeo-Christian tradition. It's the story of Joseph, who was sold into slavery in Egypt by his brothers at the age of 17. Can you imagine how easy it would have been for him to languish in self-pity as a servant of Potiphar, to focus on the weaknesses of his brothers and his captors and on all he didn't have? But Joseph was proactive. He worked on be. And within a short period of time, he was running Potiphar's household. He was in charge of all that Potiphar had because the trust was so high. Then the day came when Joseph was caught in a difficult situation and refused to compromise his integrity. As a result, he was unjustly imprisoned for 13 years. But again he was proactive. He worked on the inner circle, on being instead of having, and soon he was running the prison and eventually the entire nation of Egypt, second only to the Pharaoh. [[2019_02_08]] (Location 1482) > Samuel Johnson observed: "The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove." [[2019_02_22]] (Location 1622) > In the words of both Peter Drucker and Warren Bennis, "Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things." Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall. [[2019_02_22]] (Location 1646) > Efficient management without effective leadership is, as one individual phrased it, "like straightening deck chairs on the Titanic." [[2019_02_22]] (Location 1668) > Through imagination, we can visualize the uncreated worlds of potential that lie within us. Through conscience, we can come in contact with universal laws or principles with our own singular talents and avenues of contribution, and with the personal guidelines within which we can most effectively develop them.  Combined with self-awareness, these two endowments empower us to write our own script. [[2019_02_25]] (Location 1974) > Many "older" children go through life either secretly or openly hating their parents.  They blame them for past abuses, neglect, or favoritism and they center their adult life on that hatred, living out the reactive, justifying script that accompanies it. [[2019_05_03]] (Location 2885) > Then I ask this question: if you were to fault yourself in one of three areas, which would it be: (1) the inability to prioritize; (2) the inability or desire to organize around those priorities; or (3) the lack of discipline to execute around them, to stay with your priorities and organization? [[2019_05_03]] (Location 2898) > In the words of the architectural maxim, form follows function. [[2019_05_03]] (Location 2908) > The first generation of time management does not even recognize the concept of priority. It gives us notes and "to do" lists that we can cross off, and we feel a temporary sense of accomplishment every time we check something off, but no priority is attached to items on the list. In addition, there is no correlation between what's on the list and our ultimate values and purposes in life.  We simply respond to whatever penetrates our awareness and apparently needs to be done. [[2019_05_03]] (Location 3082) > Again, you simply can't think efficiency with people. You think effectiveness with people and efficiency with things. [[2019_05_03]] (Location 3087) > frustration is a function of our expectations, and our expectations are often a reflection of the social mirror rather than our own values and priorities. [[2019_07_14]] (Location 3288) > The principles involved in stewardship delegation are correct and applicable to any kind of person or situation. With immature people, you specify fewer desired results and more guidelines, identify more resources, conduct more frequent accountability interviews, and apply more immediate consequences. With more mature people, you have more challenging desired results, fewer guidelines, less frequent accountability, and less measurable but more discernible criteria. [[2019_07_14]] (Location 3395) > The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. [[2019_07_15]] (Location 3701) > "It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses." [[2019_10_03]] (Location 5116) [[favorite]] > Like the Far Eastern philosophy, "We seek not to imitate the masters, rather we seek what they sought," [[2019_10_03]] (Location 5227) > They don't realize that the very strength of the relationship is in having another point of view. Sameness is not oneness; uniformity is not unity. Unity, or oneness, is complementariness, not sameness.  Sameness is uncreative...and boring. The essence of synergy is to value the differences. [[2019_10_04]] (Location 5766) [[favorite]] > Goethe taught, "Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be." [[2019_10_04]] (Location 5805) > The more proactive you are (Habit 1), the more effectively you can exercise personal leadership (Habit 2) and management (Habit 3) in your life. The more effectively you manage your life (Habit 3), the more Quadrant II renewing activities you can do (Habit 7). The more you seek first to understand (Habit 5), the more effectively you can go for synergetic win-win solutions (Habits 4 and 6). The more you improve in any of the habits that lead to independence (Habits 1, 2, and 3), the more effective you will be in interdependent situations (Habits 4, 5, and 6). And renewal (Habit 7) is the process of renewing all the habits. [[2019_10_04]] (Location 5809) > As you renew your physical dimension, you reinforce your personal vision (Habit 1), the paradigm of your own self-awareness and free will, of proactivity, of knowing that you are free to act instead of being acted upon, to choose your own response to any stimulus. This is probably the greatest benefit of physical exercise. Each Daily Private Victory makes a deposit in your personal intrinsic security account. [[2019_10_04]] (Location 5845) > the words of Dag Hammarskjold, You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds. [[2019_10_04]] (Location 6086) > In the words of Teilhard de Chardin, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." [[2019_10_04]] (Location 6091) > Again, T. S.  Eliot expresses so beautifully my own personal discovery and conviction: "We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time."