# Stop Looking for The One - Anne-Laure Le Cunff Synced: [[2023_11_30]] 6:03 AM Last Highlighted: [[2023_09_17]] Tags: [[advice]] [[career growth]] [[Career Growth]] [[explainer]] [[Explainer]] [[model]] [[Model]] [[personal growth]] [[Personal Growth]]  Absolutely agree with every portion of this article. This is what the conception “Follow your dreams” should try to articulate. That you are multi-dimensional person with potential to pursue across several domains. Those domains do not need to be this one central thesis (e.g. “I am X”) because the central thesis is grounded in one thing, you. You are the common thread to your potential futures, you pursue those futures and can “level up” whenever, however you want. ## Highlights [[2023_08_20]] [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h890r2fvkd34h9cemrnje0fp) > In the words of Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett, a journalist at *The Guardian* : “Part of growing up is accepting all those things you’ll never be, but which perhaps, in another system or universe, you could have been.” [[2023_08_20]] [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h890spkscjtq3hymw6w632d6) > Here is how the pyramid of life normally works: > 1. As a child, you explored. > 2. As a student, you specialized. > 3. Now, as an adult, you can easily define who you are to yourself and other people. > This is the path I have followed for a long time. This is the narrowing path most people will follow. Not because that’s what they want but because that’s what is expected from them [[2023_09_17]] [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h890vw5j57msjcbvpbrqa87w) >  This is beautiful, it goes hand in hand with my idea [[Find your strength, don't follow your passion]] [[2023_08_20]] [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h890xtaysg24qx9pxfnvps6r) > Here is what the inverted pyramid of life looks like: > 1. As a child, we are full of potential. > 2. As a student, we can explore our affinities. > 3. As an adult, we open up a world of opportunities. > In this paradigm, the potential you have as a child is just the beginning—the tip of a cone of creativity that widens as you grow up. Because you’re optimizing for opportunities and not trying to define yourself through specific expertise, you can keep expanding your playground all your life. I'll argue that this is how you should live your life looking forwards. But that your life in retrospect looks more like the other pyramid. It is not that one pyramid is dominant over the other. They are different perspectives over the same thing, you. [[2023_08_20]] [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h890zd117gyd447y4vqf8b6g) > This ability to identify yourself across multiple domains and roles, which researchers call “self-complexity”, has been [found](https://click.convertkit-mail.com/38umdndq0dfkho4rkxlcrhn/x0hph3uwzmzk92cg/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8xNTIxMDAxNS8=) to support emotional resilience by reducing the impact of failure or setback in any single domain. You may lose your job but still be a great friend. Your startup may fail, but you may run your first marathon with your partner. You may be rejected from your dream school but win a poetry prize. This is a great point the more diverse our interests the less likely we will feel to have failed overall. This is why not getting into the “right” school can be so devastating, it is the collapse of your one golden egg. [[2023_08_20]] [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01h891zs7s1ja04hhsdejecda6) >  The path of a specialist, from the general we derive the specialty.